January 1, 2019

Musings from

It's been a while. Five and a half months since I last wrote. Somehow it seems a lot more recent, but somehow that also seems like a million moons ago.

"Happy New Year" is the thing we're all supposed to be saying to each other for the next 6 or 7 days isn't it? I'll sa...

July 16, 2018

Musings from

I have been in a pretty rubbish place lately and it's just one thing on top of the other. I don't know if I have ever been so depressed - which given my history with depression, this is quite something to recognise!

The rash (I'm now calling Rusty) that was scary then n...

July 11, 2018

Musings from

**Trigger Warning....Suicide** If you have any concerns for yourself or anyone you know, please contact a medical professional or helpline. This article relates to my experience and nothing is intended as advice.

I haven't been able to write about how desperate things h...

July 3, 2018

Musings from

I was pretty sick and tired of things the other day, feeling very very down, feeling very alone, and wondering what on earth I could do. On a wim, I put a random post in one of the Facebook groups I'm in. It went a little like this:

"I'm kinda over my own story, so how...

July 1, 2018

Musings from

Well, I say quick, but it wouldn't be a quick fix really because this hell has been going on for too long.

I'm using my mood tracking app, and the insight I am getting will no doubt be useful when I start with my new therapist later this week. The app pops up randomly a...

June 18, 2018

Musings from

It seems, a week in, that I may have found the mood tracking tool for me! It's only taken six months, but it turns out than a mobile app is the way to go for me.

In the nearly three weeks since Mr P and I met with Dr S and have been going through medication dosage chang...

June 11, 2018

Musings from

It is very rare that I have 'oh my word, this person totally gets me' moments. I had the appointment with my new psychiatrist at the end of May. As per my previous post, I was filled with all sorts of feelings and anxiety about this appointment, for all the reasons men...

June 7, 2018

Musings from

What I struggle with, and I guess what other people struggle to understand, is that I can be in the depths of despair and still function to some extent.

I can go out and have a nice time. I can interact with you, I can be positive and have a laugh, and in that brief int...

May 27, 2018

Musings from

I've got an appointment with a new psychiatrist. Mr P is able to come with me, which makes me happy, but I'm still not looking forward to it.

I wrote in an earlier post that my current psychiatrist (Dr H) is leaving and I need to find a new one. This happens, and I'm ok...

May 23, 2018

Musings from

There has been a wonderful uplifting post about women supporting women doing the rounds and it has been shared and commented on far and wide, which is lovely to see. I have seen a number of comments about how similar things could be said about men, and, because I agree...

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