We have a bird. Her name is Namb (Nam-b), and because she was lonely she now has the radio on for company, and she chirps away quite happily - I'm yet to track down exactly what genre she's into, but was enjoying the classical music the other day. Thanks to Namb I have realised something...
I have missed the RADIO! And MUSIC!
When I moved to Zurich (before you could really get international stations easily, or, perhaps you could, I just didn't know how to) I stopped having the radio wake me up and keep me company every day. That was nine years ago this month. Music is such a mood changer. I know this. At The Priory we did music therapy on a Saturday morning. I always have music when I'm driving, but haven't at home for years. My go-to is to turn on the tv. The last two days, when I've been home during the day I have just had the radio. I've loved it.
Note to self: more music in the house!
My therapist has been encouraging me to do things to make me feel good. If you didn't know it, this can been extremely hard to do when you don't feel good. I get the logic, DO something, change your mood. Logic = Easy; Reality = Hardest Thing Ever. So many feelings go through my head, and it becomes one of those things that passes by me. I had a mani/pedi on 28th December because we were going out that evening. I haven't had anything done to my nails since. My fingernails are appalling and I've been so embarrassed about my toes.
I have a date with Mr P today. He put it in the calendar. This is a big deal. I decided (without discussing / asking / etc) that my nails needed done. I called the nail salon (hate using the phone since my BP moved in) and I went and had my nails done. As if she had a second sense, my therapist msged when I had literally just sat down to ask how I was feeling. I laughed (second time this week) and was so chuffed to be able to tell her where I was! She was proud of me. More importantly, I was, no, am proud of me.
The next date is with some people I don't know. This should be scary, but per an earlier post, I'm feeling a little less scared. My therapist and I have discussed the need for local friends and support, people to have general conversations and laughs with. I said yes to someone on Facebook and am now meeting at least ten NEW people for lunch on Sunday! Go figure! This makes me smile, and kind of laugh again.
I want the feelings I am currently feeling to last. I am cautious because they may not, and until I've learnt better techniques on how to cope, it is likely they won't. But for now, I am PROUD OF MYSELF. I can recognise that today has been a good day, on the back of a relatively good week. Go me!
Let's hope this is the start of a great weekend. May yours be that way too, love Becs xxxx