Losing a Part of Me (in a good way)

February 9, 2018

So, during 7 months last year I changed my lifestyle. Massively. Actually, 'massive' is a pretty perfect word to describe the size I had become, especially for my height. I'm only 5.2 and had found myself staring down at 3 figures on the scales - and that was before the decimal point! 😲 Not somewhere I wanted to be (but to be fair, I don't know anyone who ever sets out to become fat)!

 

Over the years I've put on weight, lost weight, put on weight, lost weight, put on weight, put on weight, lost weight, put on weight, and oops, put on weight. The last four are basically a summary of the last four years.

 

I have excuses on hand, and I could even convince myself there are more that I haven't even thought of, but the reality was, I ate unhealthy food and didn't move my body anywhere even close to the amount it should have been moving to counter the amount of unhealthy food I was putting in my mouth.

 

I hated seeing photos of myself and they certainly didn't do anything to improve my depression/eating cycle. I would not say I have ever been a vain person, and I am most certainly lacking in confidence, but over the years I have seen some photos of myself and was proud of what I saw. Everything I was seeing recently was bringing up some not very nice thoughts.

 

So, time for a change then!!

 

I had heard talk about some health products, did a bit of googling, liked what I saw, but did nothing. Then one day I was at a coffee morning and someone sitting one away from me mentioned the words and my ears popped up! I butted into their conversation (hopefully not rudely!) and asked for more info. She said a few people were getting together that evening and did I want to go along. Confidence levels were fairly low but somehow I found myself saying yes.

 

The women I met that night were fab. I had a laugh with people I didn't know - women from different backgrounds, different shapes, sizes, chatting about all sorts of things and having a laugh. There was a feeling I got, and I liked it. I also liked what I heard, about the products and the business opportunity. I was sold.

 

The very wonderful Mr P got the full force of my energy when I got home, and he agreed to meet up with Sue* to chat about the business opportunity. The day we were meeting Sue* we had gone out for the day in Dubai. We went to Green Planet (which is awesome btw) and were having a lovely time, and as is the way these days, we were taking photos of each other. That was the 9th April 2017. That date will be forever ingrained in my mind as it was the day I saw a photo of myself and decided enough was enough! Show me where to sign, I'm in.

 

There began a journey. A journey of a change in lifestyle. Out went the chocolate and crisps. In came the vegetables (yes, vegetables), and cooking food that was more healthy. And flooding my body with all the nutrients it could possibly need every day, as well as replacing two meals with plant based protein shakes. I found energy I didn't know I was capable of having. My taste buds changed. I was supposed to have two shakes, one meal and two snacks a day. Most days I couldn't fit in both snacks. This from the girl who could fit in two bags of crisps (large) and at least two chocolate bars (also large) without taking a breath! Oh, and I drank water, at least two litres a day.

 

The weight started to drop off. I started exercising. The weight continued to drop off. I had more energy. The weight still continued to drop off. I fitted into clothes I had never dreamed of getting into - clothes that had been bought years ago and still had the labels on them, that have moved house more than they needed to. 

 

I lost 27.6kg in seven months. I had lost more than a quarter of my body weight! I actually needed to buy smaller clothes. I still have a wardrobe stacked with clothes that are way too big for me that I need to find a charity to give them to.

 

I enjoyed having my photo taken. I (almost) enjoyed looking back at my fat photos, just so I could see how much I had changed.

With my weight loss and my energy came a new found confidence. Don't get me wrong, the girl with low self-worth wasn't part of the weight that fell off, but in a weird way, losing the weight made me realise that I needed to tackle the self-worth issue. Yes, on the outside I was looking great, and yes, I was feeling great, but so much of that is superficial.

 

If you don't have any self-worth, it's hard to lose it - or find it. My journey of weight loss has become a journey about finding me, and part of that is finding the healthy me - both physically and mentally.

 

Of course, towards the end of the seven months stress and depression came bashing through my door and things took a turn for the worse, and for the last two months I have been making up for the loss in sales the junk food companies experienced over those seven months. 

 

But, and, as in life, there almost always is a 'but' (in my case, it's more of a 'butt'!), I am happy to say I am back on the wagon, and learning from my experience rather than choosing to beat myself up about it. After all: 

Blips will happen, and it is long overdue for me to give myself credit for all the times I have gotten back up and tackled another day.

 

For now, I am back on my shakes. I am back on my magic beans. I am almost ready to get back on the bike (the actual bike) and become friends with my scales again - especially when they showed me today that I have lost 2kg in 9 days. Not a bad start!

 

And I am determined that by sharing my story, being successful in creating the healthy body, I can also create a healthy mind, and a successful supportive network for like minded people on top!

 

Here's to a healthier lifestyle! Love Becs xxxx

 

*nope, you're right, her name wasn't Sue

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