I am feeling like I am making some progress. Like positivity and the law of attraction could actually work.
As I write this I am sitting looking at a painting I did at a workshop at Soul Art last night. Weird in itself as I don't paint. What is even more weird is that I smile each time I see it. I feel inspired and proud when I look at it. Could I pick holes in it? Could it be better? Yes, and yes. But I don't want to. It was painted in the moment, and that moment is one that I will remember every time I see it.
I wrote in another post about ways to change your mood, and one of the ways was to think of a positive experience, and keep remembering it, until you can think of it and feel it and change how you feel. I know this painting will do that for me. I guess that was the point in painting it.
The session last night was meant to be making vision boards, or so we thought, but it was slightly different. It was totally awesome, and clearly what I needed, or else I would have experienced something else, but it wasn't necessarily what was in the 'box' when I signed up.
There was learning about how our brain works, and our conscious and subconscious, about our thoughts, and our feelings, and how we can change them, and how our lives can be controlled by things that we're not even aware of. It went on then to how we are all energy and vibrations, how even the solid concrete wall was vibrating - cue humorous moment and some nervous laughter as somehow the woman leading the session thought my mind had gone down the 'vibrator' route (which it honestly hadn't), but then when she took me down that route, I found myself giggling away! Possibly slightly 'out there' but stick with me.
She went on to introduce us to the seven primary chakras and the emotions and colours that can be associated with them. By this point I was getting fairly emotional. Everything she was saying was absolutely resonating with me, and some of it is stuff that I have already written in this blog. I can't even describe the feelings running through me. That what I have been thinking and analysing, is actually thought of by another human being, and could in fact be true. Here was someone 'in the know' confirming that. I felt that perhaps I am onto something, and that my ideas around a community and a 'movement' to support people and help them feel included and 'normal' might just go someway to changing the world.
Hang on. I need to sit with this for a moment. How freaking cool!! Just had the biggest smile. This feeling. Just awesome.
Anyway, after the chakras, she took us through a meditation. I sometimes cry when I meditate, and last night there were more tears than usual, given the feelings that had already been invoked in me. At the end of the meditation she wandered around and we each chose a card. If I wasn't lying down I think I would have fallen down when I read the words on the card that I chose! Speaking to me or what?! The colours on the picture on the back were the colours of the chakras that I already knew I needed to use when painting my picture. Even that freaked me out slightly. I felt, safe. At home. Like I was exactly where I needed to be. A most powerful moment to experience.
This is what I will feel each time I see my painting. It will be hung in our lounge, so I can be sure to see it, and take time to look at it, every single day.
I am thinking of the affirmations that I need to write seven times a day for the next 21 days. I want something that encompasses all I want to achieve. Once I have figured them out, I will be sure to add them in here.
I really can't say how pleased I am that I am at this exact point in my journey. I am meeting the people I need to meet. I am experiencing what I need to. I am feeling what I need to. I am learning what I need to. I am starting to believe that I can create the life that lives hidden inside me. Living My Life My Way.
And you know what?! I have in this very instant received a message from someone I haven't been in touch with for a while saying that I'm inspiring her. And she hasn't read any of my blog, so it's not this that is inspiring her. It's me! It's the 'kind of unsure but trying figure it out, honest' version of me. Haha, just want to laugh at that! If this is what I receive less than 24 hours after attending a workshop about living the life you want, and creating your own reality, and someone gets in touch - what on earth can happen when I really get going with this?!
I feel like a caterpillar that is transitioning into the most beautiful butterfly. And interestingly enough, the wonder Mr P thought that the green bit on the right hand side of my painting was a caterpillar. When he said this last night, I was slightly offended, but look, now I am referencing it, and feeling it. Maybe he also knew something subconsciously that neither of us consciously did.
Loving life so much this week! And I've just realised that I haven't even covered any of the other stuff that I wanted to write about! So much to go and do! I feel like THIS is the beginning...
Til next time, wishing you the absolute best day you can have, love Becs xxxx