Two things on my mind at the moment (well, in reality there are a LOT more, but just the two to discuss on here for now).
I had 13 good days before things started getting a little tricky. Thirteen days! And honestly, it could be 14, but I forget the exact date. That, could be a record.
I had my hypnotransition session with the wonderful Sarah, and have been positive, made some positive changes in my life, have put things in place that she suggested (probably about 80% of them, which isn't bad considering my history!), and I have been able to feel good about myself and the things that I have been doing, since seeing her.
Things started to go wrong, probably, when the lack of sleep, excitement, too much going on, and yes, finally, alcohol got involved. The alcohol I can do something about. Mr P won't like it, there are friends who won't like it, but to be honest, I would still like to be cheery and positive, and if that's the catalyst to why I am where I am, then it's got to go! I get hyper when things are going well, when I've not had my standard sleep routine. I KNOW this! Why does this continue to surprise me?!
Which leads me nicely into topic number 2.....decisions. We are all responsible for making our own decisions. Yes, when we are a baby, a small child, even at school, a lot of decisions are made for us, and we are given, sometimes, the choice between two or three things - not the 'come up with your own ideas about what helps you feel good'. A lot of this is needed because we are not yet equipped to handle things on our own, but where this turns into a negative, is when we are not encouraged to think for ourselves and make our own decisions - is what we have grown up with 'right' in today's world / given the person I am / the friends I have / the work I do? Do I agree with this?
We CAN think for ourselves, and we need to be encouraged to. Talking with friends, opening up, and not thinking that 'it's the way it's always been, therefore I'll go with the status quo' are all really important things to think about.
Your next decision could be the one that changes your life for the better. Would you want that decision based on other people's opinions, or your own?
I am learning to make my own decisions. At least this way, if it all goes belly-up, I am the only person responsible for that decision. Equally, if it goes right, well, I get to feel super proud of myself for making such awesome decisions. We need to remove the fear, trust in ourselves and in our abilities to survive. That's what our parents raised us to be - independent adults. Not all of us are, and we need to take some responsibility in that.
I am now going to make the decision to go to bed - I should have been asleep at least two hours ago! See, another decision. Even when I'm more depressed than hyper, sleep can be disrupted due to too many thoughts running around my head!
May you have the best day possible, love Becs xxxx